MSNBC, the slightly more modern and less accurate cousin of staid NBC, asked in an online poll whether we think that nature is getting “out of control,” forgetting that our lack of total control is why we call it “nature.” Exactly when in our history have we had it in control?
The Year of Our Lord 2010 has not been kind to us so far, and if it’s really His year, He can have it.
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Perhaps worse, we sometimes assume that none of our activities can have any adverse consequences for Mom or for us, though Klamath River salmon would tell us otherwise. Maybe they are telling us indirectly by their price per pound at the market.
All these musings about humans and hubris have diverted us from the supposed purpose of this column, another word that starts with “h-u.” So enough philosophy! Let’s get silly.
It’s March, which means that the summer blockbuster action flicks are in movie trailer overload mode right now at a theater nowhere near you (if you get Quip Tide via home delivery). “Summer,” which now stretches to Thanksgiving, is the time for sequels, remakes, and rip-offs, and 2010 will be no exception. The producers and writers in Hollywood will again display their creativity by proving that plagiarism is the most sincere form of flattery. The Wolfman has already revisited the big screen this year, just in time for Valentine’s Day, and what better way to say, “I love you” than turning into a bloodthirsty fleabag.
By this time next month, the Titans will again be clashing, in full CG glory this time. There will be a 3-D version of Piranha, which even in 2-D was pretty one-dimensional. Elm Street will revisit its recurring nightmares. New casts will reprise Robin Hood, Karate Kid, A-Team, and even Conan (not O’Brien). There will be more Predators and Little Fockers, which really should have been named Meet the Grandparents. Harry Potter’s final book will be his penultimate movie, unless they decide to keep dividing the book and milking the cash cow.
Then there’s the heavy math: Wall Street 2, Iron Man 2, Shrek 4, Sex & the City 2, Toy Story 3, Twilight 3, Cats & Dogs 2, Resident Evil 4, Saw 7, Paranormal Activity 2, Tron (yes, Tron) 2, and the winner for the most numerals, 30 Days of Night 2.
Maybe 2011 will bring some new ideas to the Big Screen; perhaps Even Gonner With the Wind, The Fourth Man, North by Northeast, Adam’s Sternum, 1 AM Cowboy, Rebel Without a Clue, or The Post-Graduate.
We can hope, but that takes a lot of hubris.
Louie@hmbreview.com is waiting to see “It’s a Wonderful Afterlife.”
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